Its been a week already

Yesterday,me and my three got off work early,had some rare free time on our hands and went to catch a movie(Dil Kabaddi; but thats another story).Now what New Bombay lacks in other departments,it makes up in terms of sheer ample space.The multiplex we were headed to was housed at the topmost floor of this sprawling,chrome and glass structure of a mall.As we took the escalator upstairs,what struck me was the smooth traffic flow on the escalator,no jostling,no waiting impatiently as escalator newbies made a spectacle of themselves,hopping on and off the bottom of the escalator gingerly.Then it struck me what was odd-there were like 50 people in a place clearly capable of accommodating 50,000.
My cellphone beeped the following message:"False rumours spreading regd possible attacks on vital installations and airports.They are baseless and devoid of facts-Mumbai Police".Clearly it didn't work though-considering people preferred to stay put at home than venture out,on a Friday night.
I purposely delayed writing about 26/11 as much as I could,for the simple reason that I didn't know how I felt about it.Like most other Indians,for me,it was not the same this time.Most other attacks of this kind,they barely register- it is that easy to turn a blind eye and carry on with the niggling teeny worries of our inconsequential lives.This time,it hit and it hit hard-at that tiny island of conscience within us; isolated from the rest of our ant-like consciousness by a moat of our own indifference. Ignorance is bliss they say and is by far the easier pick.
I was leaving a party,that Wednesday,when I heard about the attack.My immediate thought ,I am ashamed to say,was that my appointment book was completely blocked for the next day and what a pain it was going to be to juggle those around.It's become so routine, these events-hence that knee-jerk reaction. I processed the information for a few moments before better sense made me place calls to ensure that my people were fine.
It was different this time.I have a few theories about why it hurt particularly bad this time-

• It was Bombay,not Malegaon.There is a difference;however wrong it is to make such an unfair distinction.Doesn't matter that no one wants to admit it.
• It was the Taj and the Oberoi that took the beating this time.When the trains,marketplaces etc got targeted earlier,the wallets just bleated out the right noises.Having had your home-turf invaded must have been a rude shock,if I may say so,without meaning to belittle their loss .Plus the Taj being symbolic of permanence and beauty in this concrete-mired island of ours.Coupled with the obvious deliberate inclusion of foreigners;thus lending financial implications to the affair.
• It was a 56 hour-long LIVE footage.Reminiscent of Palestine,Kabul,Bosnia,Serbia,Baghdad and closer home-Kashmir.I mean.we're talking about BOMBAY!
  

That weekend,I watched the news and watched enough of it to make up for 21 years worth of apathy towards news reporting.I lived in front of the television that weekend,read the papers cover to cover(and I'm not talking about the Bombay Times or Mumbai Mirror here).My mind screamed overload,but I wanted to take it all in,blocking absolutely nothing out.Emotionally exhausted with the onslaught,I pushed myself to work on Friday;my mind clearly on what was still playing out at south Bombay,at that time.Distraction did not come so easily this time,as we were herded back home following rumours of fresh attacks.
I was outraged,yes.Still am,at the audacity and the ease with which 10 mentally ill people held a entire city hostage.Surprised?NO.It was coming.India is a lesson of how derailed democracy can get if you let it.We are governed by people who are self-serving,at the best;caught with their mouth wrapped around their foots,more often than not.Pseudo-secular that we are;how long did we think we could go on,ignoring the elephant in the living room?It is this division that is going to be the proverbial straw that breaks the camels back;namely our crumbling,murky,inefficient and corrupt government machinery.
I'm done with impotent anger and helplessness;I had enough of it the past weekend.Outraged self-righteousness cant last forever-we are responsible somewhere and we know it.Pop-patriotism can get you only get you so far-bombing Pakistan isn't going to accomplish much,international migraine that it might be.Lets leave the jingoism for the B-grade Sunny Deol flicks.
Everyone around me seems to want answers.GOOD.Never before have I seen such enthusiasm and unity.Witness the number of Facebook events & groups,peace marches,candle-lit vigils as well as reams of print media devoted to the same.Public anger,if directed at the right area and gets the desired accountability-nothing like it.Political musical chairs,with one inarticulate incompetent Home minister being dropped for an articulate image-salvaging bureaucrat does not cut it.But cynicism is one way of protecting yourself.I should know,I am one.Being aware is the first step,what do you if you don't get the answers.Who will provide the solutions?Where do we even begin to clean up our act?
When we resumed normal lives after a nerve-wracking weekend,I expected the usual public amnesia.That hasn't set in.Yet.Political heads are rolling.Only time will tell if this new-found public consciousness and solidarity is here to stay and what changes it does or does not effect.
We must REMEMBER.But there are times when I wish I could forget;anything to dull the pin-pricks of guilt,anger and pain that keep surfacing;anything for things to go back to the way they were before terrorism became a regular front-page fixture along with the morning cup of cha.My beautiful city of old,is this what it took,for us to re-discover our love for a now-ravaged you?