Apsidaisy recommends that we watch 'Gunda' when she gets back.For the love of god,if you haven't done so already,click on the link and look it up.Or better still,watch it.You're life will be the better for it.Trust me.
We were always this classy,as you can see.
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Ambiguity flies off to (where else?)the States for a PHD in BIOCHEMISTRY(the large caps are totally warranted),for the fall semester.Like all conscientious Indian parents,hers had "the talk" with her,cautioning her about the moral black-hole that is American college life and extracting promises from her galore.
Ambiguity(indignant):You know,the way my parents went on,you'd think I was a debauch girl intending to make a lot of man-friends.And a dipsomaniac to boot.
Oh,I'm going to miss her and her Victorian prudishness(ha!or so she'd want you to believe).I can totally picture her bristling with importance,minding her p's and q's,tripping over a voluminous skirt,in a bonnet and puffed sleeves,wielding a parasol.
Man friends has a quaint ring to it
****************************************************************
G-talk conversation with Mandork:Mandork:You don't write like an Indian writer.The western hue in you're writing is far too overpowering.Its like you write from a pedestal and not from under the desk.
Me(acidly):Well that certainly puts me in my place.Deconstruct that for me,will you?
Mandork:I think your writing takes much western slapstick into itself.Internalizes it.That becomes the book's spine.
Me(confused):You got all that from my writing?What pedestal?What desk?
Mandork:But its great.I'm just giving you a honest,subjective critique.The way any some other critic will,when you write your first book.
Me:Thats never happening.
Mandork:Never say never.
Sure,Boris Becker said once-'I'd never bang a half Indian,half German in a broom cupboard.'But,lo and behold
Me:He did?
Mandork:You're going to have a brilliant future.You're the jewel of my stud farm.
Me(chortles):So what are you?I never pegged you down as the rancher types..
Mandork:You've seen Forrest Gump?
Me:Only like 40 times.Its one of my all time favourites.
Mandork:Well,I'm like the feather thats floating around Tom Hanks before the credits roll.Minus the music.
After Slumdog's Oscar sweep,Wanderlust called me up to share her opinion about the same
Me:(answers the phone)Jai ho!
Wanderlust:Jai NO!
Someone warn the Pussycat Dolls before...uh oh.Too late.
No hard feelings Rah-man.I still love you.
Me:It is an awesome book.
Sauron:Ya,especially how he overcomes brain cancer
Me:Wait a minute.Didn't he have testicular cancer?
Sauron(pauses to reconsider):Like I was saying,its amazing how he got through brain cancer.
Since,we're on the election topic,
Wanderlust:I had two options,since I decided to vote for the candidate and not the party.Plus I didn't recognise any Independants.So many random symbols.So basically,my choices were-A)candidate 1-who lied that he held a doctorate,when actually he never even made it to junior college and B)candidate 2-a murder convict.I chose the lesser of the two evils and picked 1.
As it turns out,2 won the election but my dad says she should console herself with the fact that 1's dad was a murder convict,on whose strength he was contesting the election in the first place.
God, I love this country.
Its cricket season(yet again.sigh) and the IPL is literally pouring out of my ears.My family is an ardent fan,for various reaons.During a match which had Priety Zinta cheering on for the team she owns(Kings XI Punjab,my little brother snarls as he reads this over my shoulder),my mum puts in her two-penny bit
Ma:I heard Priety Zinta and Ness Wadia broke up.Is it true?
Me(trying to be snarky):He never said anything when I met him for coffee yesterday.
Sarcasm doesn't go down well with my parents.She shrugs and gives my dad her patent-'Well,I did try not to raise a retard for a daughter but how can I help your bit of her genepool acting up?' look.
Ma:Anyways,they seem so normal,even though they're not with each other.
Daddykins:They better be normal.They have so much money riding on it that they better be normal.Anyways,I always thought it was a bad idea.They bloody look like brother and sister.
Ma(to my little brother):So.What are the birds in your college like?
Lil Bro:Birds?
Ma:You know,the girls.
Lil bro leaves the room in protest
Me(quietly):I think you mean chicks,ma
I wish my parents would stick to parentspeak.They just kill the lingo of our times.Like the time my mum wanted to check out my cousins pictures and wanted me to go onto 'the Facebook'(Yes yes,my mother did refer to Facebook as THE Facebook.)
Or the time,when she caught me calling Lil Bro an a**hole,during a fight.
She took to calling us a*holes every time she would call out to us;so we could realize how vile we sounded.There's nothing quite like hearing you're mum call out to you 'A**hole,so and so's on the phone for you';to cure you of any fledgling cussing habit you might have had.For ever.
Well played,mother.Well played,indeed.
Me:He did?
Mandork:You're going to have a brilliant future.You're the jewel of my stud farm.
Me(chortles):So what are you?I never pegged you down as the rancher types..
Mandork:You've seen Forrest Gump?
Me:Only like 40 times.Its one of my all time favourites.
Mandork:Well,I'm like the feather thats floating around Tom Hanks before the credits roll.Minus the music.
************************************************************
After Slumdog's Oscar sweep,Wanderlust called me up to share her opinion about the same
Me:(answers the phone)Jai ho!
Wanderlust:Jai NO!
Someone warn the Pussycat Dolls before...uh oh.Too late.
No hard feelings Rah-man.I still love you.
*******************************************************************
Sauron:I completely loved 'Its not about the bike'.
Me:It is an awesome book.
Sauron:Ya,especially how he overcomes brain cancer
Me:Wait a minute.Didn't he have testicular cancer?
Sauron(pauses to reconsider):Like I was saying,its amazing how he got through brain cancer.
***********************************************************
Man Blonde:It was awesome voting for the first time.You know how you're supposed to hear violins in your head when you're in love?Well,when I entered the polling booth,the national anthem was playing in my head.Since,we're on the election topic,
Wanderlust:I had two options,since I decided to vote for the candidate and not the party.Plus I didn't recognise any Independants.So many random symbols.So basically,my choices were-A)candidate 1-who lied that he held a doctorate,when actually he never even made it to junior college and B)candidate 2-a murder convict.I chose the lesser of the two evils and picked 1.
As it turns out,2 won the election but my dad says she should console herself with the fact that 1's dad was a murder convict,on whose strength he was contesting the election in the first place.
God, I love this country.
*******************************************************************
Though this is a friend post,here's some family drama.Its cricket season(yet again.sigh) and the IPL is literally pouring out of my ears.My family is an ardent fan,for various reaons.During a match which had Priety Zinta cheering on for the team she owns(Kings XI Punjab,my little brother snarls as he reads this over my shoulder),my mum puts in her two-penny bit
Ma:I heard Priety Zinta and Ness Wadia broke up.Is it true?
Me(trying to be snarky):He never said anything when I met him for coffee yesterday.
Sarcasm doesn't go down well with my parents.She shrugs and gives my dad her patent-'Well,I did try not to raise a retard for a daughter but how can I help your bit of her genepool acting up?' look.
Ma:Anyways,they seem so normal,even though they're not with each other.
Daddykins:They better be normal.They have so much money riding on it that they better be normal.Anyways,I always thought it was a bad idea.They bloody look like brother and sister.
Ma(to my little brother):So.What are the birds in your college like?
Lil Bro:Birds?
Ma:You know,the girls.
Lil bro leaves the room in protest
Me(quietly):I think you mean chicks,ma
I wish my parents would stick to parentspeak.They just kill the lingo of our times.Like the time my mum wanted to check out my cousins pictures and wanted me to go onto 'the Facebook'(Yes yes,my mother did refer to Facebook as THE Facebook.)
Or the time,when she caught me calling Lil Bro an a**hole,during a fight.
She took to calling us a*holes every time she would call out to us;so we could realize how vile we sounded.There's nothing quite like hearing you're mum call out to you 'A**hole,so and so's on the phone for you';to cure you of any fledgling cussing habit you might have had.For ever.
Well played,mother.Well played,indeed.
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